1995 | 34 mins
Mother, I'm going to make a film. I can't accept the death of my beloved mother. I was able to film her while she was fighting the disease, but I couldn't film her face when she died. Her love for her mother and her dilemma with herself. I am the one who turns the camera on myself, entrusting my wavering feelings to making a film. She moves back and forth between her boyfriend and her sex partner, whom she met after being seduced by him, while groping for her mother and her reasons for making a film. The film is a semi-documentary about "sad reality and me", but without a whiff of tragedy or self-deprecation. In the director's own words, "I let the film faithfully reproduce my own shaken emotions", and it is clear from the screen that he has probably already found "the end of my shaken self" through this film.
Starring: Natsuko Otsuki, Natsuko Otsuki, Nakatsu Seiki, Tanaka Yanbu
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